⚠️ trigger warning ⚠️
Struggling on a daily basis with mental health is not only tough, but exhausting.
What hits us though even harder??
The negative comments said to us by others.
It makes it kind of even worse when it’s those who are supposed to truly care about you and support you no matter what.
Yes, I know this first hand.
I’ve been called crazy, lazy. I’ve been told that I don’t matter and that I should just kill my self. I’ve expressed suicidal thoughts only to be told that I’m not suicidal and am just making it up. I’ve been called a liar, an attention seeker, etc, etc.
Today, I want for you to see not just what I go through, but what others who are struggling have been told.
These experiences are all real told by real survivors!:
- I was in the midday of a deep depression. I was visiting my parent. Sitting there, being quiet, my father said to me. “ If I don’t snap out of it, he’s going to bring me to the mental institution”. He knew, my that was my biggest fear. My uncle was in the hospital, and when we Would visit, he always threatened me. I was a kid then. Institutions were way different in those days.
- “You’ll never get better”
- Get over it!!!!
- I should not be experiencing what I am mentally because others with similar life experience are not in the same head space. And the times people just blurt out something is wrong with you.
- Depressed cunt. Go kill yourself.
- Stay calm , with a d h d , and dont rush ?
- Oh you’re just having a BP moment
- The worst thing to happen to me was on a crowded bus i told my friend i was on my way to see my therapist and everyone turned to look at me like i was some kind of monster…
- I just have some of the classics. “You have nothing to be depressed about.” and “You just need to let Jesus into your heart.” The latter gets me….I am a Christian but that doesn’t seem to make a difference.
- I was told by a deputy manager that I was just another statistic after an attempt on my own life. Probably one of the worst things said by someone who was supposed to be helping me.
- Have you been to church lately?
- Still a strong Christian, but had a pastor tell my hubby that he needed to be a “man” and make sure I was in church despite the fact I had anxiety disorder. After insulting my husband’s masculinity, he offered us access to a Christian psychologist. We don’t go there anymore.
- After admitting I was suicidal: I was told I wasn’t suicidal, I just felt like some things happening in my life were unfair.
- While I was nanny for my best friend her aunt said “Wait…isn’t she bipolar? Why are you allowing her near your child?? Aren’t you afraid the voices will tell her to kill him?” She explained for 20 mins that isn’t what bipolar disorder is before giving up and calling her a moron.
- “oh its not that bad, only 2/10 people with BPD actually kill themselves”… Thanks I’m glad my disease is only a little fatal.
- What have you got to be depressed about 😡😡 I was so hurt n upset , how am I supposed to answer this 😳😳
- “Yeah but you’re unusual, you’re not a crazy monster. I won’t be scared unless you try to kill me lol”
- I’ve had my MH used against me, when I got suspicious over something.
- “You have nothing to be depressed about” “you just need to be stronger and not let it get to you” “if you pretend you’re happy long enough eventually you will be”.
- “I don’t think you need antidepressants, I think you just need to accept Jesus into your life.”
- A comment that sticks with me the most is “your faking it, just playing the game” coming from someone who I trusted to understand. I started to doubt reality & questioning myself. Was I faking it, playing a game? Horrible that one comment from one person had that amount of power.
- All of this medication is not helping you. You just need to get outside and walk every day (I have agoraphobia/social anxiety). You don’t need this medication. The doctor isn’t helping you. You can help yourself without medication.
- I was actively suicidal and had been taken to emergency. The psychologist there told me to have a cup of warm milk before bed. That would fix everything. And she discharged me.
- Give my head a wobble (like it would just reset my brain or something)
- ‘I don’t want a daughter who is on antidepressants’
- Suicides a sin you shouldn’t do that, or the best from professionals was, I think you’re too ill I can’t help you -this was senior cmht professional, well if they can’t no idea who can. He then discharged me but forgot to mention it!
- “You don’t even have anxiety, you just use it and cry for attention so it has to be done your way” 🙃
- “People with BPD die by suicide all the time. If you die then it is what it is. It happens”
- I was once told that other kids have had it worse than me. This from a friend who knew me when I was in care. She’d had a look at my care notes but from what I now know, she never got the full story because no one had ever really been told the ft story.
- “You should be over it by now.” Said to me by one of my supervisors when I asked to move my lunch hour, so I could see my therapist. I left that job soon after, of course.
- 5 years ago my anxiety got so bad i couldnt even sit in a classroom, my school however had me down as a school refuser, this meant i found it hard to find support for my mental health. I was not refusing to go to school i wanted to go but i was too anxious, no one understood
- When discussing my issues with agoraphobia, a “friend” remarked that I was just using it as a lazy excuse to avoid being a productive member of society.
- Not directed at me, but at a former friend when she was in the middle of a breakdown at the ER, said by a doctor no less: “You should stop thinking so many negative thoughts”. Health professionals who infantilize mental illness is worse than any plebeian’s insult.
- “You got good grades you obviously aren’t ill ” a week before an attempt
- “Everyone has problems suck it up” by my then best friend when I told her I was self harming.
- “You’re only trying to be awkward/ make yourself interesting”
- ”You need to be stronger as i cannot deal with you like this. if you get upset like that again i will have to leave you”
- I’ll give you a blood test, but mental health problems in teenage girls are down to boys
- Man up
- You’re not doing enough with your life, not working enough
- “You’ve gotta get over that” (someone speaking of my ptsd from child abuse) . “Suck it up “ . “Don’t let it control you”. “Everyone gets sad sometimes” “just stop thinking about it “.
- “Your hair looks really shiny and you’ve done your makeup: you’re obviously doing much better mentally than you think you are”
- You need a goal for cbt, does not killing yourself count 🤷🏻♀️
- “You’re just being dramatic”. “You’re spoiled”. “Just stop taking everything so seriously”.
- “Oh look your having another bpd episode” “you don’t even do anything to help your bpd”
- “Does that mean you are going to try and stab me in my sleep then?”
- “Kill yourself in the woods, I don’t wanna have to deal with the body”
- ” There are so many people who have it worse than you so you need to just stop crying. ” ” You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself”
- “I know you have mental disorder but to me it just really seems like you’re having a pity party for yourself”
- You’re not psychic, you’re psycho.
- Attention whore
…………and more. More that many many others have not opened up to anyone about.
Hateful words like this, add fuel to the fire of this stigma. Part of the reason why people can’t move past the stigma of mental health.
Words are powerful.
Help out by just watching what you say to someone. What you call someone. What your opinion is about someone.
Everyone is fighting a battle. Some are just silent. Some are not.
Lift others up. Don’t bring them down.